When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
