Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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