Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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