11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the day after is always just damage control
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize