Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
