For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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