oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
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Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
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I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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