when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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