I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
