I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
