her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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