I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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