you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
