he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
