I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize