I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
