So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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