Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It's blow job season.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
