Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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