i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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