I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
