wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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