Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Screwed.edu
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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