I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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