Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
