my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
