boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
