is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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