Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
