the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
