when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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