party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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