If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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