i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
