either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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