I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
