Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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