he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
