My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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