i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
