how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
