If i come over, it means nothing
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
