all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize