his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
