Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
