she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I have already put on my inside pants.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
