I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
