Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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