My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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