Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
