I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
