An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
