Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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