I'm really into asian looking animals
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
love makes seman taste better
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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