More tranny stories later!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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