the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
